Funny American Football Jokes

Are you looking for American football jokes? Here you will find many, and not only 1. The jokes of coaches and players could certainly not be missing in this collection to laugh about in the world of football!

Life-long passion, manic cheering, and heart-pounding emotions: for many, football is the most popular sport in America. For many people, football is a serious, very serious sport, but things in life must not always be serious and we should be able to take them with a smile. In sports someone loses and someone wins, true fans have sportsmanship; they laugh at their opponents' win.

If you too want to be part of the circle of people who get excited for the guys who run behind a ball in shorts, these football jokes will allow you to change your mind, or at least to look at everything from a new perspective. Here are some American football jokes, by those who have lived on the field or by those who have been a careful observer from outside.


  • What did the football coach say to the broken candy machine? Give me my quarterback!

  • What do Nebraska and marijuana have in common? They both get smoked in a bowl.

  • What runs along the edge of the pitch but never moves? The sideline!

  • I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms: Truman's and Eisenhower's. - Alex Karras

  • Which football player wears the biggest helmet? The one with the biggest head

  • Why don't grasshoppers watch football? They prefer cricket!

  • What does a Minnesota Vikings fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation 3.

  • What do receivers catch after running downfield? Their breath

  • What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? The elevator can raise a child.

  • Our players have a lot on the ball. Unfortunately, it’s not usually their hands.

  • What do Lionel Messi and a magician have in common? Both do hat-tricks!

  • What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan? An anorexic

  • What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag. A tea bag stays longer in the cup.

  • Why can't Ryan Fitzpatrick use the phone anymore? A: Because he can't find the receiver.

  • Why is the Vanderbilt football team like a possum? Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

  • The bartender asks the man what the dog would do if they score a touchdown, and the man replies “I don’t know, I’ve only had him for three years.

  • The last time I played tackle football without pads l broke three ribs and a collar bone. Fortunately, none of them were mine.

  • A wife told her husband that he put football before their marriage. “That’s not true,” he said. “After all, this is our fourth season together.”

  • What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl? The Dallas Cowboys.

  • What do football players wear on halloween? Face Masks!

  • Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football? It was a superb-owl.

  • Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team? They needed a little team spirit.


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