50th Birthday Quotes

Funny 50th birthday quotes and jokes

The gray hair and onset of wrinkles that accompany a 50th birthday represent the final confirmation that youth is long gone.
Men who reach the half-century mark may find themselves envious of their back because it goes out more than they do.

Found in 50th birthday quotes are sentiments of the wisdom, maturity and gentle-nature that most people can claim when they reach the age of 50. Those who make it to this milestone can now claim the knowledge that a younger generation already thinks they possess.

Turning 50 also represents a halfway mark in the journey of life. With that milestone a person commands memories that can fill volumes. Some reflections may be unpleasant, but with those an individual can share knowledge about how to avoid their mistakes in life.

Those who are truly wise realize that 50th birthday quotes highlight the continuance of a journey in which they will see greater
levels of success, self-confidence, happiness and life’s most precious gifts – the love and respect of others. And along the way, they can also expect more visits to the doctor and bathroom.

50th birthday quotes and jokes
  • Don't just count your years. Make your years count.

Turning 50 jokes

  •  There are numerous advantages in being fifty – just ask any eighty year old!    
  • Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Jack Benny       
  • I can still do everything now that I did at 20, of course with my doctor's permission.        
  • Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson           
  • 50 years: here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you, and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren't doing what you love, then what's the point? - Jim Carrey       
  • You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. - Ogden Nash
  • The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it. - Doris Day        
  • After a man is 50, you can fool him by saying he is smart, but you can't fool him by saying he's pretty. E. W. House         
  • They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.    
  • Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo          
  • I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate. - Lady Nancy Astor         
  • If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. - Mickey Mantle 
  • At fifty you’ve accumulated the knowledge and wisdom of half a century. This would be a tremendous asset if only darned senility hadn’t wiped your memory bank.
  • Fifty isn´t old...if you are a tree!     
  • To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable. - Oscar Wilde        

Turning 50 jokes
  • The secret of staying young is to live honestly, and lie about your age.

50th birthday jokes

  • Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places. - Glenn Dorenbush

  • You're still hot, but only in flashes.

  • You finally get your head together, and your body has other ideas.

  • You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.

  • You know you’re 50 when your idea of getting lucky is being able to find your car in Walmart’s parking lot on the first try.

  • The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.

  • After turning 50, everything that doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.

  • You and your teeth have decided that a separation is the best thing for your relationship.

50th birthday jokes
  • Middle age when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.

Turning 50 one liners

  • Turning 50 gives me more yesterdays than tomorrows. - Bill Clinton

  • Turning 50 means that you get the urge, but can’t remember what for.

  • Turning 50: Your back goes out more than you do.

  • I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party!

  • You know you’re old when you go antique shopping and the crowd thinks you’re part of the inventory.

  • Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty. - Joan Rivers

  • I regret to inform you that your 40s have now expired.

  • So many candles, so little cake.

  • If grey hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!

  • I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent. - Charles Caleb Colton

50th birthday one liners

  • The secret to staying young is to find an age you really like and stick with it.

  • 10 more years from pension, until then, work hard so you can enjoy your retirement comfortably. Wonderful 50th bday!

  • Classy, Sassy, Nifty, Fifty!

  • I hope you are happy now that you’re 50 years old. Fifty is the new “who care?” So relax, enjoy and have fun!

  • You know you are getting old when you go to bed before your kids

  • Happy 50, Dad. I am so proud to have you as a supportive and thoughtful father.

  • Middle age: Later than you think, and sooner than you expected.Happy 50th!

  • I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work...I want to achieve it through not dying. - Woody Allen

  • 50 is the age of discovery - you discover you're old!

  • So far, this is the oldest I’ve been. - George Carlin

50th birthday wishes

  • You are turning 50. But why are your candles going up and your cake getting smaller?

  • Like fine wine, things get better with age; you my friend are nearly magnificent. Happy 50th Birthday!

  • Hey Dad. I will love you more than I did in your next 50 years. Happy 50th birthday.

  • Have you ever noticed the number “5” looks almost identical to the letter “S”? Now that you’re turning 50, it’s just your body’s way of reminding you that you are “50” (SO) Old!

  • You only turn 50 once. Make the hangover worth it!

  • At fifty you might not be able to make a fresh new start, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling young at heart. Happy birthday.

  • Happy birthday. I am so happy to be with you celebrating your 50 years of life. I admire your honesty and respect your personality. I pray to God to shower blessings on you.

  • Happy Birthday! Your first 50 has been incredible, so I cannot wait to see what the next 50 brings.

  • We pulled through so many projects together and overcome our biggest obstacles. Having a colleague like you is pure pleasure. Happy Birthday and always stay positive like you are!

  • Happy 50th Birthday! Wishing you a wonderful celebration and an amazing year.

  • You are the reason not just for my birth but also for who I am today. I cannot describe how much I love you. I would like to express my respect and gratitude to you, Mom. Happy 50th Birthday.

  • Happy Birthday! The world is a better place for having had you in it for the last 50 years, so I hope you live to be at least 100.

  • Once in a while, someone comes along who makes 50 look good. Let me know when you come across them. Just kidding, buddy. Happy 50th birthday!

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