Woody Allen quotes

Funny and famous Woody Allen quotes and sayings

There are only few names that start from nothing and then enthrall all fields they appear into. Today we are going to talk about an influential, eminent, and valued person Woody Allen. Woody Allen is an actor, renowned comedian, skilled director, and writer who has a vast career in all these fields. Allen was born on the 1st of December 1935 in The Bronx, New York, US. Woody Allen quotes will define how his career and views expand from one of the best stand-up comedian to one of the best director and actor.

Allen started his career as a comic and along the way made a name in various entertainment fields. His outstanding and remarkable work distinguished him from others and made him won multiple Academy Awards. Woody Allen’s romantic comedy Annie Hall gained massive popularity for its super direction, best picture and best/original screenplay. It won countless awards. This is just one of his amazing masterpieces. Allen is regarded as a “treasure of the cinema” for his peerless work and personality.

Therefore, to look up to somebody like Allen we have to have some know-how of his views, ethics, morals which made him gain such heights in life. Take a look at Woody Allen quotes collected here and get inspired by one of the most inspirational person of Hollywood.

  • I don’t know enough to be incompetent.

  • The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

  • The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

  • If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.

  • I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

  • I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

  • To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.

  • The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

  • If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

  • And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.

  • I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

  • You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

  • I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

  • It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

  • My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

  • To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

  • I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

  • Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it. When I'm walking down the street or having dinner, ideas will hit me, and I write them down on matchbooks or napkins and throw them in the draw.

  • There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

  • Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

  • I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

  • The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.