Bob Hope quotes

It’s hard to confine the life of Bob Hope to one profession or role. He was a stand-up comedian, vaudevillian, actor, singer, dancer, boxer, and author, and appeared in more than 120 films [both short and feature length], and enjoyed a career that spanned more than eighty years.

Throughout his long life, Hope was known to make tours of the United Service Organizations, entertaining American troops who were on active duty in different parts of the world. Today, his published works and extensive catalog of jokes and dialogues are a source of joy and inspiration, and his signature style will live long in the annals of American history.

  • A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

  • Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn't hear them.

  • The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

  • Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

  • It's a wonderful world. It may destroy itself but you'll be able to watch it all on TV.

  • I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

  • She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

  • A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

  • They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

  • Free speech isn’t dead in Germany and Italy, merely the speakers...

  • The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

  • Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He's always had an agent for that.

  • I don't mind dying, but I hate the preliminaries.

  • People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

  • The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.

  • Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people.

  • When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

  • As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn’t been touched by the war and blew it to hell.